Fake the Funk

Splash of Color

My last post explained how to be a good dad. This post will unpack how to be a GREAT dad, so brace yourself…..be you. Mind blown yet? Yup that’s it. Sorry there is no 4080 step process but being GREAT comes down to you being able to actually be consistent. Since you have been you for a while isn’t it about time it paid some dividends?

Being yourself means your genuine self. What do I mean by this? Well for example, if you hate church don’t drag your kids to 11am service with you because you think THEY need the moral guidance. You’re being fake and sharing experiences with your children just for the sake of saying you did something. Try to avoid that. In parenting and generally in life. This doesn’t mean you tell your kids they don’t have to drink milk because you are lactose intolerant. It means you shouldn’t try to be someone you are not because you think that is the parent your son or daughter needs to have. You are enough. Promise.

Now as I write this please know this post comes with a grain of salt and 50 shades of gray. If you hate vegetables it is still probably a good idea that your kids eat them. This is the part where being older [an adult] comes into play and you discern what’s best for you children based on your own moral compass, experiences, ideologies and virtue. You want better for your kids which means you want to use your mistakes [or the mistakes of your parents] to help you figure out better choices.

And as a Memory Architect whose creating meaningful experiences you want to accomplish this via the shortest path. A great way to do this is genuinely sharing your thoughts, experiences and interests with your son or daughter. They [and you] will appreciate it. Remember you are a superhero for the first part of your kid’s life as they are trying to figure out the world and everything in it. So whatever you are “into”, they most likely will be “into”. Ok dad?

Here is the salt: what if you and your children have absolutely nothing in common? You love football and rebuilding car engines  while your daughter loves gymnastics and painting ceramics? I get it. Nothing is completely perfect and this situation may very well arise.

The solution? You compromise.  Discover something that you both can enjoy together. But be open and honest then build from there. Suggestion? A favorite meal. Learn to make it and have them help. It can be your “thing”.

 

– A Single Dad

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